“When I believe in myself, so do others.”
Criticism as a child, be it from parents, or school, or even friends and peers, may have created a deep-seated doubt in my own abilities. In social settings with strangers my mind can wander into thoughts about how unimportant the things I am saying are to the person I am talking to. I also lack interest in things others say, this therefore perpetuates the belief that others don’t take interest in me. I recently investigated this on a deeper level, witnessing the experience from within: I noted that during certain conversations I can disappear into my own thought patterns. I switch off from the other person and get distracted by my own internal commentary of doubting my understanding of the conversation because I have no interest in what they are saying. From here I then develop a lack of interest in the things I say and feel that any contribution I make is boring. “If it bores me, surely it’s boring to the other?” At this point, I don’t want to say anything or even listen and then feel as if I have cast myself out of the conversation. The flow of the conversation quickly dries up.
When I tell a story that is received well, with laughter or understanding, then I feel worth and acceptance. Otherwise, I feel I have nothing of interest to say. Would this stem from being told as a child, whilst telling a story; to ‘get on with it’?
I feel that in order to be found interesting, I have to find interest in others. This also rings true with my quote at the top of the page, ‘when I believe in myself, so do others!’
The below is taken from an article here:
Every thought you think every word you say is an affirmation All of our self-talk or inner dialogue is a stream of affirmations. We are continually affirming subconsciously with our words and thoughts and this flow of affirmations is creating our life experience in every moment. Our beliefs are just learned thought patterns that we have developed since childhood, many of these work well for us, but others may now be working against us, they are dysfunctional and may be sabotaging us from achieving what we believe we want. Every affirmation we think or say is a reflection of our inner truth or beliefs. It is important to realize that many of these “inner truths” may not actually be true for us now or may be based on invalid or inappropriate impressions we constructed as children, which if examined as an adult can be exposed as inappropriate.
An interesting link that also touches on this can be found here: http://EzineArticles.com/6154671
In regards to answering this predicament, I personally feel that one must have confidence in oneself and an understanding that you do project yourself onto others. Taking a genuine interest in others, is taking a genuine interest in yourself. We are all part of the whole and without love for each other, we have no love for ourselves.
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